I’m sitting in a park, in Sydney’s

Between two streets so all I hear, is the sound of traffic clatter

The park is very tidy, I hear a bird or two

Yet the grass is so very green, and the sky so very blue

I compare it to

So long it seems recovery, is in a state of doubt

I love a sunburnt country, yet sometimes I want to cry

It’s not only sunburnt, but the ground is also dry

The trees can’t grow new leaves, foliage withers away

We need to replenish the ground, for the fauna and flora to stay

We don’t want a flood of water, just enough for life in our ground

So we can pass to our children, the pleasures of life that we found.

Writing for the sake of time

Its quiet now, all is at rest

I know this is when, my writing is best

Follow my lead, know it is true

My care is sincere, I care about you

Do not neglect to tell me the truth

Maturity’s honest, not only in youth

I’ve no idea, why I’m writing this rhyme

I think it’s because, I’m killing time!

I was taken aback. I knew I was a hard worker. In actual fact, I figured I was one of the hardest workers in the office. Now someone was challenging me – someone without a name.

‘Yeah, that’s what I thought. No guts to speak up when someone is sticking your nose in the truth, is there?’

Who exactly was this dude? Why did he feel the need to explain his worth? Insecurity?

I decided to challenge him. ‘OK then, why do you think you’re the hardest worker?’

‘You mean you don’t realise? How many people are working on this floor? No, don’t bother counting…I’ve already done it….sixty eight people. Yeah, that’s right sixty eight people. Now how many printers are there? I can tell you that too….one – me. And I look after all of you workers day in and day out. I am working here before any of you come in the morning and I’m the last one to rest at night.’

‘But wouldn’t you say it wasn’t harder work, just more time consuming?’ I asked.

‘Time consuming! Don’t you realise time is money? I see all of you going on tea or lunch breaks, but no…I never get even one break a day – or pay. I should be getting paid more than all of you put together!

I realised he had one big chip on his shoulder so I’d better tread carefully. ‘Yeah, you’re right…you do work hard but…’

‘But! What do you mean ‘but’? I spend all my days printing reports, statements, letters, photocopying, faxing, sorting papers, in whatever way you want. Black, colour, I’ll even staple the papers if you want me to. See how smart I am. It’s about time you people appreciated me.’

‘Oh but we do appreciate you. I’d like to know something though…what do you do for recreation if you’re always working.’

‘hehehe! Well now, I’d better let you into a little secret. I DON’T GET NONE! Not like you workers who log off and go home to a nice comfy couch and relax. No, I’m stuck in the office 24/7 and never get let out. One time, someone tried to turn me off – they really tried to suck the life out of me, but I showed them.’

‘What did you show them?’ curiosity was getting the better of me.

‘Well, I decided to do the old ‘malfunction – operator error’ trick. They panicked and left me alone.’

‘What about the next day?’

‘What about the next day? When I saw her coming along, I made a few groaning noises and she soon left.’

‘So you fixed her up?’

‘Well…not really, she came back with this man in a uniform holding a small tool box. He proceeded to take some of my insides out while she tried to tell him what was wrong with me….do you know how humiliating it is to be undressed in the office and left exposed so that everyone can see your insides?’

I grinned – but only for a second. I didn’t want to get him off side. ‘No, I don’t suppose it’s nice…did you eventually make up?’

‘Are you serious? Next time I saw her coming, I made sure the print she wanted was smudged…only thing was she made me print the same thing three times before she went to another floor to print the pages. You know, I laughed so hard when she left that someone complained about the whirring sound that I had to stop.’

Well, you really fixed her up, didn’t you. What other malicious things are you planning to do in the office? I don’t want to get on the wrong side of you.’

‘No, you won’t. I like you. You’re the only office worker to ever take the time to listen to me. You don’t treat me like an old printer. You respect me. I don’t mind doing work for you.’

So I left and went back to my computer and printed out a letter. When I went to pick it up from the printer, it read something altogether different:

THE PRINTER IS OVERWORKED. IT HAS GONE ON STRIKE. TREAT IT WITH RESPECT AND YOU WILL GET A LONG LIFE. 

I knew I had to make peace with this temperamental old load of shit. I decided to change my tactic. I needed another person in the room to do it.

Just then Sonia walked in.

‘Sonia, how’s things going?’

‘Not good I’m afraid. The printer is doing some really weird things.’

‘Oh?’ I queried.

‘Well, the last thing I typed for the boss was apparently ‘unprofessional’. The boss complained until I showed him what my screen said and what the printer printed was miles apart.’

‘So what happened?’

‘The boss has suggested we replace this load of crap for a new state of the art printer. At least that way, we’d get a decent job…..pity, it used to work so well,’ she said as she left the room.

I stayed to see how he’d react. He remained silent.

Finally I spoke. ‘Do you think it might be worth reconsidering your attitude? If you don’t shape up, you are going to be shipped out.’

‘Yeah, well I’ve been thinking about retirement. I’m just wondering what the perks would be?’

‘I can tell you the only perk would be to get complete rest. Nothing to do day in, day out. You’d be piled on top of the scrap heap…’

‘The scrap heap? Isn’t that where they melt you down and…’

‘Yep, sure is, but at least you won’t have to work hard any longer. After all, you’ve earned it.’

‘There’s a lot of life in me yet,’ he argued, ‘they can think what they like, but they can’t get rid of me that easily,’ and with that he began printing bright, colourful posters. Perfectly centred, no mistakes.

‘Who says I can’t do it?’ he cried

‘Well, you’re certainly showing you know your stuff. They might have to reconsider their intentions,’ I commented.

‘You betcha! I’ve got a new lease on life. I might have my whinge every now and then, but basically I’m a good hard worker.’

‘Are you sure?’ I asked, ‘after what you’ve just told me, you’re rather rebellious.’

‘No, from now on, I’m going to try another tactic. I’ll become over efficient. That way, they can’t afford to put me on the scrap heap.’

‘You know, that sounds like a fail proof tactic,’ I encouraged, ‘with that attitude, you can only get better.’

‘I’ll outdo all of you yet. And when you forget to respect me, wolla! I’ll just shut up shop again.’

‘I hear you, but I’m hoping you can work with us, rather than against us.’

‘Yes, of course I can…for the time being.

At home, her frustrated husband, Daniel waited impatiently as their twins Josh and Gemma ran around squealing.

‘There you are-finally!’ said Daniel, ‘That’s the fourth time this week. I’m getting a bit sick of it. You better be home on time tomorrow, because I won’t be here.’

‘Where are you going?’

‘I’m leaving Rebecca, I’ve had enough of your lies. Your commitment isn’t to me and the family. It’s to your work. Well, I’ve had enough.’

‘But…’

‘As far as I’m concerned it’s a closed subject.’

Sure enough, the following day, Daniel wasn’t home when she returned. She was only one hour late, the twins were at home - six years old and the next door neighbour was there.

‘I’m sorry said Gertrude,’ he was so adamant, he just left.

‘It’s not your fault,’ reassured Rebecca. She looked at the twins. What came first, food or bath? She couldn’t remember, Daniel always did that.

She decided on the food. Now what did Daniel cook? She always had take away on the way home. She decided to buy takeaway pizza.

‘What about our bath?’ moaned Josh. ‘I don’t like Mushrooms,’ moaned Jess. ‘I don’t like these salty things,’ moaned Josh,’ or the black round things.’

‘What about a bath?’ suggested Rebecca eager to have them in bed.

‘Yeah!’ chorused the kids.

After putting them in the bath, Rebecca quickly switched on her laptop. ‘I have to catch up on the emails I didn’t finish at work.’ she muttered.

Only this time the laptop didn’t light up as normal. She checked the power. That was ok. Then it must be the battery. No, that was fully charged. OK, it was, it was, it was…oh shit! the computer is faulty.’

She rang the twenty four hour help support line. ‘Sorry, we are fully booked out until Thursday.’

‘What! That’s three days away!’

‘Yes ma’am, we are very busy at present.’

She was stuck. Her work would not let her use another support agency.

‘Mum! The water’s cold,’ said the twins waddling towards her dripping wet.

‘Huh? Oh yeah. Just put clothes on,’ she muttered, more concerned with the computer.

‘Hey, can we play snakes and ladders Mum….pleeeeze?’ begged Jess as they took out the board.

Rebecca took a long hard look. These were her children. Look how big there were. How long was it since she had played with them? And they still wanted her to play. Such simple faith. ‘Yeah sure,’ she replied

‘Yey!’ they yelled, ‘Mum’s gonna play!’

Once they had finished, Rebecca put them to bed. She sat back with a hot cuppa and reflected on the demands of her work. Her family was growing up and she had nearly missed it. A faulty computer had caused her to see them…for the first time. At the end of the day, her boss paid her for her time, but her children loved her - unconditionally. She decided from now on, things would change - Big time.

• Successful Self-Publishing: Making and selling your own book, by Sherryl Clark. Hale & Iremonger, NSW, 1998Everything from designing & compiling your own book, what to include, what to leave out, thinking from the publishers perspective, where to publish your book and how to raise the finances to get yourself started.
• Lonely Planet Guide To Travel Writing, by Don George with Charlotte Hindle. Lonely Planet Publications, 2005.Includes websites, guidelines from the best travel writers in the business, on how to make your travels make money for you.
• How to Publish Your Newsletter: A Complete Guide to Print and Electronic Newsletter Publishing, by Carol Leurs-Eyman. NY USA: Square One Publishers, 2006.Compiling & editing - learn how to make your newsletter stand out from the rest by learning the tricks of the trade and what mistakes to strategically avoid!

I’ve added them to the Resources page of the website.